Just Tryin’ to Be Helpful

I was reading a story in The Washington Post today and discovered a little known problem in government. With the end of the Bush Administration drawing near, it appears some people are headed for the unemployment line. I think I can be of help.

But first, I guess I ought to let you know more about the background. I can’t do it any better than the reporter, Christopher Lee, did so let me use his words.

Political Appointees 'Burrowing In'

”And no matter how much some in the Bush administration seem to look down on government, no matter how many say they long to return to the private sector or spend more time with family, a few political folks, in the end, will decide that they would rather not part ways with Uncle Sam. So they will try to stick around, angling to turn their short-term stint in an administration of their choice into a permanent job amid the ranks of career civil servants and federal executives.”

Well, if you’re one of those folks, have I got a job for you. If Mr. Lee is correct, you’ll be perfect.

”Burrowing in often looks like an especially good option to younger political appointees, people in their 20s...“

Yep. People in their 20’s would be perfect. And if you’re looking for a hole to hide in, I know just the place. It’s dark, in an out-of-the-way place and best of all, it’s slap full of Republicans. Well, at least they used to be Republicans. They might have had a change of heart in recent years. It’s a little moldy right now but what do you expect ? It is a hole after all.

There are plenty of job openings for all. You can apply right here. When you fill out an application -- if there’s a place where you can request a specific location -- be sure to put in ZTL. That’s Hampton, GA. Trust me. You’ll love it. It’s perfect for you. As soon as you walk into the building, I assure you, somebody with a smile on their face will shake your hand and say, “Welcome to ZTL Hell.” That’s just their way of telling you it’s hot in the summer. Don’t worry, it’s nice and cool in the hole.

Did I mention the money ? The money is GREAT ! Marion Blakey said so. Now I ask you, would she lie ?

”New controllers, however, would start much lower and rise to salary and benefits of 127 thousand after five years on the job.”

Just in case you hear that story about the trainee with the second (or was it the third ?) job gathering shopping carts at the local BigBox store, I want you to know who to believe. Ms. Blakey was the Administrator. Shopping-cart boy is probably a Democrat. You know how they can’t handle their money. Besides, Ms. Blakey didn’t say how “much lower” did she ?

Yes siree. I haven’t recommend the job of air traffic controller to anyone in decade. But if you’re a Bush Administration political appointee looking for a permanent guvmint job I think you’d be a perfect fit. Come on and enjoy the work environment you helped create. You’ll fit right in. Tell you what, send me a note letting me know when you’ll arrive and I’ll come up to Atlanta Center and I’ll personally welcome you to Hell...I mean...ZTL.

Don Brown
October 9, 2007