Such A Deal !

My wife taught me that one. She’s from New York. It’s right along the lines of a “New York trust me.” It’s like a used-car salesman asking, “Would I lie ? It’s only had one owner and it’s never been in a wreck. Trust me. Such a deal !”

The FAA has a deal for me. They’re offering (up to) a $24,000 dollar signing bonus for retired controllers that want to come back to work (offer subject to approval.) Such a deal ! Check it out for yourself.

”Re-employing retired controllers is seen as a good way to augment facility staffing. They could be brought back to work a full- or part-time schedule, work just certain positions, or help with training new controllers. These controllers could be re-employed on term appointments for one or a few years.“

Wow ! Well, here’s what I want. All day shifts. No evenings. No mids (non-negotiable.) I only work the WILKES sector. I don’t train. I’m home for dinner every night by 6 PM -- no exceptions. No holidays. I wear whatever I please. That includes my cowboy hat if I so choose. I get to pick my own supervisor.

Oh, and one more thing. You put the flight progress strips back on the boards too. You can send the new kids over to watch when it’s non radar so they can see how it works. That’s observation -- not training.

You’ll notice I haven’t said anything about money. When it comes to money, I’m just a poor, dumb country boy. Tell you what -- I’m going to make the National Air Traffic Controllers Association (AFL-CIO) my exclusive representative. Negotiate money with them. When y’all are done, I get to vote “yea” or “nay.”

Oh, that’s right. Y’all could have done that 503 days ago but you didn’t. Well golly Gomer, I bet that winds up costing you.

I may not be from New York but I didn’t just fall off a turnip truck. Let me know when y’all get serious. Give my regards to Marion.

Don Brown
January 19, 2008